After Miley Cyrus’ recent spate of twerking, Sinéad O’Connor wrote her an open letter, you can read it here:

Then Amanda Palmer wrote an open letter to Sinéad

Then Ann Magnuson wrote an open letter to open letters … which is awesome.

I thought I would weigh in on the debate with an open letter to Sex


Dear Sex

I think it’s time you grew up. You send such mixed messages. First it’s sledgehammer licking and twerking from snarky disney child stars. Then it’s “powerful women keep their clothes on” messages from bald 80s pop stars. I was a slutty little teen minx with bad boundaries, and a simultaneous self image of superiority and self loathing. It was the first time I felt powerful, when I saw men staring at me with lusty intentions. I’m glad there were no cameras around to see me, to judge me with a million peering eyes as I flailed around in my self-learning. I’m glad there was no internet to make commentary. In my opinion, if you never got it wrong, then you never played hard enough.

Oh Sex, I know it’s confusing… you want to wear your whore shoes and your garter belt and your red lipstick, but does it mean you’re succumbing to pressure?Fulfilling a fantasy? Or are you fetishizing the image of the trainwreck, trying to find your own truth within it. You’re told to be sexy. Billboards with teen porn selling ‘apparel’, all panties and pouts, glower down at you on street corners. You’re told to aspire to an image of impossible perfection. Then you’re told you’re doing it wrong. Then, when you feel you’re getting it right, I don’t blame you for wanting to be the one saying “you’re doing it wrong.”

Sex, I think you’re having an identity crisis. You’re stuck with the idea that you’re shameful and wrong, while you’re standing on a podium in latex underwear shaking your ass and showing us your tongue. I think you’re crass and rude, and gorgeous and real. As you flail around in your mid-sexual-revolution confusion, with all these conflicting pressures, wondering what your role is, I don’t blame you for acting out, whether it’s with ‘mother knows best’ patronizing or flipping off the world with a giant finger. We’ll figure this out together.

One things for sure, you’re not just for making babies anymore. Your role in culture is bigger than that, and we’ve been kidding ourselves for centuries trying to shut you behind the bedroom door.

I tell you what, let’s have a party. Let’s not judge, let’s just celebrate you, and see what happens next. I think your future looks amazing.




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